Crystal Head Vodka is no longer banned in Ontario and just in time for Christmas they have a great gift pack out. A bottle and two shot glasses. Although they call them candle holders on the box. My two new little skulls won’t be seeing anything other than booze. Enjoy!

Black Friday is always good for a fight or brawl video or two. It’s  the one fake holiday that really brings out the worst in people and I love that about it. This year was no let down. A knock em down full out brawl in a shopping mall in California and it was all about Victoria’s Secret panties. You have women throwing punches before their baby daddies get into it.

The best part, the panties weren’t even on sale. They were regular price. God bless America.

In all of the movies involving asteroids you see a group of astronauts blowing the hell of the big rock and saving the day. You never see them shooting it a zillion paintballs. Here's the idea.

"That’s the idea of the winning entry in this year’s Move an Asteroid Technical Paper Competition, sponsored by the United Nations’ Space Generation Advisory Council. Sung Wook Paek, a graduate student in MIT’s Department of Aeronautics and Astronautics, says if timed just right, pellets full of paint powder, launched in two rounds from a spacecraft at relatively close distance, would cover the front and back of an asteroid, more than doubling its reflectivity, or albedo. The initial force from the pellets would bump an asteroid off course; over time, the sun’s photons would deflect the asteroid even more."

Read more: http://www.universetoday.com/98195/deflecting-incoming-asteroids-with-paintballs/#ixzz2Abd8GTTg

Bad news everybody. This is the most disturbing thing I have yet to report on. A world wide bacon shortage is now considered unavoidable. I am calling a family meeting this weekend to discuss plans to add another freezer in the basement and begin the immediate stock piling of all things swine related. Can you imagine a world without bacon martinis, bacon ice cream or just plain bacon.

That is a world that I do not want to know.

"Recent data shows Europe's pig population declining at an alarming rate "and this is a trend that is being mirrored around the world," the NPA said in a release. Every major pork-producing European nation has fewer pigs today than they did last year, even as demand for pork products has remained high.

A crippling drought in the U.S. farm belt caused the price of corn and soy, two staples of agricultural feed, to skyrocket. Retailers have been thus far unwilling to pass those costs on to consumers, and instead have been paying pig farmers less for each pig.The problem is not limited to Europe.

The Canadian Pork Council confirms that the size of North America's pig herd is shrinking, which will drive up prices as farmers start to limit supply."

 Bacon Shortage Inevitable

Homer Simpson eat your heart out. Or brain. Doctors just pulled a rubber lego wheel out of a six year old Isaak Lasson's nose, it had been up there for three years. No wonder he was suffering from sinus problems.

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Krissy Lane has been sitting on the side road in Ohio with a sign that reads: "Not Homeless: Need Boobs". Another Cinderella story. A plastic surgeon saw the video via Facebook and decided to grant her wish. That's right girls, you don't have to actually do anything productive with your life. Just sit on the side of the road with a sign and wait for a stranger to help you out. Jesus life is easy. I might just stop going to work and leech off of society. It seems to work.

WSVN-TV -

Feast your eyes on the worlds meatiest sandwich. I was really hungover Sunday morning and this would have been just what the doctor ordered for watching sports I am just trying to imagine how much mustard and beer I would need to gorf this baby down.

Chefs have created the world's meatiest sandwich which stands at 1.2 feet high, 24 inches wide and is packed with 41 different types of meats.The substantial sarnie weighs in at over 2 stone thanks to being filled with 1,445 grams of ham, 2kg of salami, turkey and bacon, 1kg of sausages, 720 grams of chorizo and sprinklings of salad, cheese and gherkins for good measure.

http://newslite.tv/2012/05/28/meet-the-carnivores-dream-the.html

If you are in the Seattle area this summer you can enjoy a nice afternoon or evening in a one of a kind hot tub boat. You just have to find a friend that doesn't mind being sober in the hot tub so they can drive.