A McDonald's play area is as good as any area I guess if you are going to fondle yourself in a public place. If you are going to put on a show you might as well make it a good one.

MADISON, Wis. — A 38-year-old man was arrested on Sunday for allegedly looking at pornographic images and fondling himself at a West Side McDonald's.

Madison police said Michael Baumgartner, 38, of Madison, was arrested on suspicion of lewd and lascivious behavior and disorderly conduct at about 12:45 p.m. on Sunday.

Police said he was using his laptop to look at pornographic images in a McDonald's play area on Odana Road while 15 to 20 children were playing.

According to police, one of the other parents became suspicious when it appeared the man on the computer had no children in the play area.

He told police that he saw the man looking at a pornographic image and typing with one hand, while fondling himself with the other, according to the report. It also stated that the responding officer witnessed the same behavior.

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I guess you would expect this at Walmart but I thought Target was where all of the rich people shop. You have to read the entire first story at the source. It's a wild one. I like the "clear vessel that contained fluids". Gatorade?

North Olmsted police catch man with pants down in Target parking lot NORTH OLMSTED -A man faces misdemeanor exposure charges after police caught him in his car with his pants down at a local department store. Officers charged the 63-year-old Olmsted Falls resident with indecent exposure on June 2 after witnesses saw him gratifying himself while parked outside Target on Brookpark Road.

Police arrived and surprised the suspect while he was still parked in the lot. Officers observed that he was not wearing any pants at the moment they approached the vehicle. The startled suspect told the officers he was relaxing in the car and was not wearing pants because he was hot.

A search of the man’s car uncovered several pornographic magazine photos, a bag containing women’s under garments, a handful of long brown hair and a clear vessel that contained fluids.

Man charged with indecent exposure at Upper Providence Target  UPPER PROVIDENCE — A Pottstown man allegedly exposed his genitals before walking around the Target on Ridge Pike last Thursday, police said.  According to township police, Scott Sean Russell, 33, will be charged with indecent exposure, open lewdness and disorderly conduct after the incident on June 3 that happened around 8:48 p.m. in the 1824 Ridge Pike store.

Russell allegedly pulled his genitals out of his pants and proceeded to walk around the store, police said. A 9-year-old girl visiting the store saw him and screamed, alerting her family and store employees to Russell's actions, police said.  Russell fled the store when the girl screamed, police said.

I haven't eaten there in a very long time. James Russell Hirt thinks it's pretty good though. He was charged with indecent exposure after witness' saw him shaving his roast beef in the bushes in front of an Arby's in Iowa City.

"Witnesses told police that Hirt had his shorts pulled down and had his hand on his genitals, and that he made eye contact with them as he fondled himself. Witnesses told police that Hirt left in an RV heading eastbound, and police were able to make the stop and arrest him. Hirt denied to officers that he had his pants down."

Maybe he just had one of those toasted subs in his hands.

Source

Another public masturbation story. It would appear that old Glen here got caught squeezing the charmin in a local store in Louisville.

LOUISVILLE, Ky. –  A Louisville man has been charged with sexual abuse after witnesses said he masturbated in front of them. According to arrest records, Glen B. Altman, 50, was seen masturbating in a store near children and other patrons at the store on South Second Street. Witnesses said Altman went outside by a pay phone and continued masturbating. According to arrest records, the stores surveillance cameras caught this on tape.

Man Charged With Masturbating In Store

The only positive out of this story is that it gives us all hope that we will still be able to start the car when we are old and right out it. Just like Albert Edward Ballough of Holiday, Florida. Although at that age I don't even know if taking the car out for a drive is worth the price of gas anymore. I love the date of birth: 1915/02/21

Albert Edward Ballough of 3518 Holiday Lake Drive was standing on his front porch masturbating while the boy was in his driveway, according to a report from the Pasco County Sheriff's Office. The child's mother saw Ballough and called authorities. The boy's mother said she has seen the man outside masturbating while he waved at her son, who waved back, the report said. Source

Here is his full arrest record and permalink mugshot.