It's official. Winning is now a money train and everyone is hitching a ride.

The world just keeps getting weirder and weirder every day. Maybe an apocalypse in 2012 isn't such a bad idea. Here is something I thought I would never write. The real warlocks and witches of the world are mad a Charlie Sheen because he has insulted them by referring to himself as a warlock. No kidding.

Charlie Sheen managed to upset a group he probably never thought of — witches — after one of his notorious tirades last week.

In a week in which the embattled actor described himself as having "tiger blood" and other apparently super-human aspects usually found in the pages of comic books, the star described himself as a "Vatican assassin warlock" during a radio show. 

The description evidently did not sit well with the witch community in Salem, Mass.

Christian Day, a practicing warlock — or male witch — and member of Salem's Coven of the Raven Moon, said he was "angered" over the statement because it's a "blatant offense against our ways and teachings."

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It's March and this is the clear winner so far. Genius.

"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."