It must have been a horrifying event for 50-year-old Keith Rasmussen of Madison, Wis. First, he gets thrown out of the VIP area in a strip club for vomiting all over the place. And then on the way to drive home in his SUV he is taken hostage by 'Martians' who slammed his suv into the front of the building.

When police pulled up to Rasmussen's vehicle, an officer asked him how he was doing.  Rasmussen replied, "Not good," but he had "seen some nice strippers."

Rasmussen denied driving the SUV and claimed he arrived at the location thanks to help from "Martians."

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Can you imagine being so hard up to get drunk that you have to stoop to driking vanilla extract and diet coke? Nobody liked the drink when Coke tried to market it ten years ago. Here is the story of a loser that stooped that low.

 Kelly Moss of Germantown, Tennessee was found slumped in her car which was parked near a school. She was unable to walk and talk and refused to take a roadside sobriety test.

"An officer noticed partially empty bottles of vanilla extract, labeled as 35 percent alcohol by volume, and Diet Coke in the front seat, and they said they smelled a strong vanilla odor on the woman's breath. A grocery receipt found in the vehicle listed two 8-ounce bottles of vanilla extract, purchased Wednesday."

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Police arrested a woman who passed out in the drive-through lane of a local Taco Bell after finding several open cases of beer in her car and pill bottles in her purse. According to a police report, officers responding to a possible DUI at about 11:30 p.m. on Tuesday found a Dodge Stratus in the drive-through with the engine running and 34-year-old woman passed out behind the wheel.

AP Top Strange News At 4:34 p.m. EDT

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Montana police said a 24-year-old man was arrested twice for drunken driving in the span of five hours. Police said Frank Rees was arrested at about 2:30 a.m. Saturday on suspicion of drunken driving and posted a $500 bond just before 5:30 a.m. About two hours later, Rees was again arrested on suspicion of drunken driving, this time after police reported he hit a parked car.

AP Top Strange News At 8:47 a.m. EDT

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The last time I was at Walmart I didn't get anything as near exciting. Camo hunting hats and shirts, fanny packs, nascar jackets and tats. You usual stuff. Shoppers at this Worth Forth Walmart got a little more than what they were shopping for.

They reported seeing man doing donuts and driving like a crazed man in the parking lot before he crashed through the doors front glass doors. He then ran into the parking lot and jumped into the back of a pickup truck trying to get away. The driver of that truck thought he was being car jacked and swerved trying to knock him out of the back. It didn't work. He instead crashed into four cars in the parking lot. It must have been quite a scene.

The original crasher was taken away, suspectd of being drunk. Do you think?

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Isn't funny that old people will always tell you to respect your elders and listent to what they have to say because they have the wisdow of time and all of that other bs. Well I know these days 68 isn't that old but she looks likes she's at least 200 years old.

Quinn Judith Fenton, of 5940 Sonoma Court has no wisdom. This 68-year-old Golden Gate Estates drunk was driving with an estimated blood alcohol level of .197 and crashed into a Collier County Sheriff’s patrol car during a three-vehicle accident.

Fenton was booked into the Collier County Jail on a charge of DUI with property damage and DUI/Drugs first offense. Bond was set at $2,750.

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This is a great story out of Michigan. Seems a six time dui loser passed out behind the wheel for a little nap. Only he decided to do it right on the front lawn of the Michigan State Police post in Paw Paw. What makes it even nicer was the fact that he had just puked all over himself and that was what made him pull over and sleep.

"The driver could not remember where he was coming from, but said he was on his way home and thought he was almost there. But he lives in the Grand Rapids area — 60 miles away. He said he was looking for a place to stop and rest after getting sick. He told police he tried to park in the post's parking lot but was too drunk and couldn't stop and ended in the grass.

Preliminary tests show his blood-alcohol level was more than twice the legal limit. According to police, the driver has been arrested six times in the past for drinking and driving offenses. His license has long since been revoked."

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Here are a few stories that have it all, public nudity, public masturbation, meth and booze. It's all good.

Cops in Loxely, Alabama were called to a car accident but they got there found a little more than that. It appears 23-year-old lesbian partners Chloe Vice and Tiffany Adams (pictured below) were in a bit of spat earlier in the day, decided to get drunk drive the old pickup around. When they approached the vehicle on the side of the road the noticed that a very drunk Tiffany had no shirt on and couldn't even remember where her clothes were. Nice. She got nailed for public intoxication and her partner, Chloe was hit with a DUI. Nice girls. I have a picture of Chloe but didn't want to scare anybody reading early in the morning or late at night.

Think that Jonathan Lowell of PRUNEDALE, Calif is a little Meth'd out? If he isn't then he sure is one happy man. So happy that he decided to assault his roommate and then chase his landlord around the home, while nude, and demanding oral sex from her. Police had to use a stun gun to bring him down. If you want to visit Jonathan or see his nude show stop by the 17700 block of Vierra Canyon Road. I'm not sure if he us appearing daily or not.

Have nothing to do today? Why not go down and stalk a girls cross country team and then rough up the suspects while you are at it. Hoang Hong Nguyen, a 39-year-old California man was arrested after being caught masturbating while watching a girl's cross country team. A school janitor found Nguyen near the Fountain Valley High School track exposing himself and masturbating. The janitor held him under arrest until cops arrived.

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Hey look another politician arrested on a DUI charge that thinks they are more important to the world than they really are. This drunken driver had a smack of reality recently when nobody at the police station seemed to care that Barbara C. Wagner, 59, of 11 Lake Shore Trail was "a member of the Glastonbury Town Council" and that she approved their salaries.

Watch the rant, it's really quite pathetic. City Council. Woo, big timers. Not, enjoy rehab. It's too bad the taxpayers have to pay for it.

Barbara C. Wagner DUI Video

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A picture is worth a thousand words. You have to love rednecks, booze and tractors. Is there any better combination of anything in the world?

A man who decided to tow his wrecked car on its top behind a farm tractor faces charges after running both vehicles into a creek while drunk early Friday morning, Indiana State Police said. Troopers were called to Bluejay Road, near Eppert Road in northeastern Vigo County, just before 7 a.m.

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