If I don’t have a movement for more than a day then I am hitting the fiber hard and getting business taken care of. Imagine going 10 years without a bowel movement. A man from China contends that he we went that long and suffered all sorts of pains over that time period like severe stomach pain. You figure? Doctors finally found the problem. An 11 pound blockage of poop in his colon. The mass so big it actually shifted his heart to the right to make room. His condition actually has name and it’s congenital megacolon which basically means you are full of it.
A few websites we read offered tips if you find yourself in this situation like drinking water and adding fiber to your diet. Personally I would recommend getting yourself to the nearest Taco Bell or some thing similar. Usually cleans me out in a hurry.
We don’t really have an appropriate photo so here is one we took of the urinals at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas.
Another life snuffed out via taking a selfie with a loaded gun. We posted about this awhile back how todays brilliant youth are dying from taking selfies and some of them doing it with loaded guns pointed to their head. This time around a 19 year old from Houston shot himself in the throat while taking a selfie with a gun. Deleon Alonso Smith as the victim. His cousin who was in the other room at the time said that they found the gun earlier in the day.
A woman Douglas, GA tried to eat a small amount of crack cocaine while being arrested on an outstanding warrant. Linda Blank, 48 was being placed under arrest for a probation warrant when offices realized she was trying to ingest crack cocaine. Big deal.
The real story here is that she has a stunning resemblance to Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black. Very similar. If I learned anything from this Netflix show it is that women s prison is a fun place to be and she should be looking forward to her paid vacation. Enjoy!
This gem was making a few rounds on the net today. A woman apparently believed her guest was being held hostage in her apartment and called 911. When police arrived they found that her guest was only watching Bonanza on tv with the volume turned up very loud. I can’t imagine what it would take to convince me that Lorne Greene, Hoss and Little Joe had holed up in my living room but she must have been convinced. I couldn’t find a source so maybe it’s just made up, who knows.
If you were recently driving your Audi down Laurel Canyon Boulevard in reverse, police wan to talk to you. The car seen here in this video is an Audi with dealer plates. There is a man and a woman in the car and it was driven backwards for two approximately two miles. Police are not impressed and are searching the occupants of the car.
I know nothing about the band Rewind or of James McElvar and had never heard of them prior to today. I am guessing that they aren’t doing so well financially after reading this story. How could a rock star not afford £45? I work a dead end job and could probably find £45 under the seat cushions in my couch.
To avoid paying a luggage fee this Einstein put on 12 layers of clothes and ended up collapsing during a flight. Here is a list of what James McElvar was wearing to avoid coughing up gum money: 6 T-shirts, 4 jumpers, 3 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of sweat pants, 2 jackets and 2 hats. This of course caused him to pass out twice before the plane touched down in Glasgow where he was taken to a hospital.
It’s amazing what lengths people will go to save money for makeup and hair gel.
You can’t even make this stuff up. Jenny Peak, 33 of Chicago beat herself up on a $12 bet from her stepfather. When police arrived at the residence she was hitting herself in the head with a crowbar, punching herself in the stomach and chest and bouncing off the walls. Officers had to take her down with a stun gun to stop the beating, of herself, by herself.
The stepfather is of course going to pony up the $12 for the bet. Nice guy. What he won’t be doing is paying the $4,000 in medical bills. You know for the fractured skull and missing teeth. To add salt to the wounds he is also having her charged with felony property damage for broken table.
The length people will go to feed their own over inflated egos and capture that perfect selfie. Anna Krupeynikov a 21 year old in Russia cashed her chips in to get that perfect photo to show off on social media. She was on a bus tour of Moscow when she disappeared from the pack to get take a picture of her mug. She ended up leaning against a fence which gave way and she fell 40 ft to her death off of a bridge. No word how the photo turned out.
This isn’t the first story of an idiot killing themselves taking a selfie. Earlier this month a man was struck by lightning in the mountains in the UK, he was carrying a metals selfie stick. Might as well been carrying a bag of steel golf clubs. In another story a woman in Russia was killed when she was taking a selfie with gun at her head. The gun of course went off and that is that. No more selfies for her.
The moral of the story is, go old school and have another person take a damn photo of you. Chances are you will probably live and get chance to bother your friends and family with the boring snapshots of your ugly mug.
After every 4th of July weekend there are a number of stupid people and firecracker stories but this year Devon Staples from Maine takes the home the grand prize. He would if he was still with us but somebody thought they would launch a firecracker off of their head and was killed instantly. Not just any firecracker it was a mortar tube. I would wager a bet that Devon now knows how mortar tubes work. His brother reported to a new station that he was holding a lighter when the mortar tube accidentally went off.
When there are signs up stating no swimming because of dangerous alligators why would you jump in the water? What would posses you to yell “f” the alligators and jump in the water with them? You could ask 28 year old Tommie Woodward of Texas except for the fact that he was eaten by those alligators. Despite warning placed on signs and from other people Tommie decided to roll the dice and swim with the alligators. The following quote pretty much sums things up. In the end at least Tommie became the first alligator fatality in Texas since 1836, so at least he’s got that going for him.
Justice of the Peace Rodney Price claimed:
He removed his shirt, removed his billfold … someone shouted a warning and he said ‘blank the alligators’ and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help.