I am off to a Superbowl party later on this afternoon. Lots of food and beer but you have to remember to hydrate. Drinking lots of water while you are guzzling down booze will save you a headache and hangover. You get the hangover because you get dehydrated. Just keep your eye on what's flowing out of those Grohe faucets. You don't to be putting dirty water into your body. Drink only clean, filtered water. The last thing you want is a case of dysentery and miss that half time show.

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I just caught the famous Man Hands episode of Seinfeld last night and looked in google for some man hands photos. I found this cutie. Take a look at those meat hooks. I wouldn't want to get slapped silly by those hands. She looks like a good candidate for rheumatoid arthritis. I don't think there is any kind of cure for man hands is there? Maybe you could have them surgically removed and replaced with a Luke Skywalker kind of hand. I saw them on 60 Minutes.

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I am in the midst of redoing my entire basement. I am just at the planning and scouting stage at this point. Searching around the net looking for ideas. I am always amazed at what people do with their man caves and found some interesting floor tiles pictures. I was thinking something along the lines of this picture but that might be a little out of my means. I would nned the palace to go with it if I really wanted to do it right.

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Here's is a small collection of stories off of the wire. Enjoy!

Man accused of stealing coins at mall fountain - Memphis police said a security officer at a downtown mall found a man in the mall's fountain, stealing coins. The man, 47, was charged with stealing about $33 from the fountain at Peabody Place. He was jailed on $100 bond.

Thieves swipe Twinkies, leave tracks in snow – It was a Zinger of a theft in Tennessee. It also included cupcakes, Twinkies and other snack cakes from the Merita Bread Company. The Kingsport Times-News cites a report from the Sullivan County Sheriff's Office in reporting 34-year-old James M. Denoon and 18-year-old Anthony Stout were found hiding under a truck at the bakery late Friday night.

Man stuffed 75 bottles of lotion in pants – Police say a Massachusetts man who stuffed 75 bottles of body lotion in his pants couldn't slip away from authorities, hampered by slacks that were nearly bursting at the seams

Man upset over gas pump drives SUV through window – A man was charged with attempted murder after authorities said he drove his truck through the window of a service station. Jefferson County Chief Deputy Randy Christian said a 49-year-old man pulled into a BP station on Alabama 75 in Pinson Sunday morning and got into a dispute with the clerk because the pump was turned off. Christian said the station has a pay-first policy.

Man with 21 knives arrested after calling police – Austin police say a man who called 911 to complain about alleged bank fraud was arrested when he was found with a machete and 20 other knives or blades. Douglas Dockery, 50, was jailed Monday on charges of unlawful carrying of a weapon, plus having prohibited weapons such as a switchblade or knuckles

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Care to see something pretty damn funny? Philadelphia Flyer Ian Laperriere lost four of his teeth back in November after getting hit in the face with a puck in a game against the Buffalo Sabres. He also lost his replacement teeth when they were stolen on route to him. The box showed up empty and the Flyers figure somebody in New Orleans stole them during shipping, probably digging for gold.

Ian had to do a commercial sans the teeth and it's funnier than hell trying to watch him spit out the words.

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Meth is just do damn sexy. I found this great little collection of meth head photos. It's called the The Faces of Meth: Before & After. Some of them don't look like they had much to start off with and the meth may be an improvement. Remember kids, only dopes do dope. Or people that love big hideous pulsating red open sores on their face.

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I don't know where my phone number ended up but it's been phone call after phone call from telemarketers or id theft people with promises of cheap auto insurance quotes. Thank god I have a phone that can block a ton of numbers. It's rings half a ring then hangs up them, giving them a busy signal. Without it, I would be going off the wall and seriously thinking about unplugging my phone.

Obviously Geico isn't one of those bottom feeders calling my house but the picture is funny all the same.

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I am at least hope that there is lawn bowling, darts or something interesting on the old tube instead of having to watch the probowl. I can't think of a more useless, unncessary sporting event. Oh wait, I almost forgot about the NHL Allstar game. It's about as exciting as getting kicked in the head. You don't need to be a Oklahoma City lawyer to figure out that even the players don't want to go and play. How many of them have been scratched this week for not showing up to meetings and practices?  I'll take the Lingerie Bowl any day of the week.

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Back in December I reported about Teachers Alini Brito, Cindy Mauro Caught Naked in Classroom at James Madison High School in Brooklyn. Since that time I have read that both were fired. I guess the school looks down on two naked teachers allegedly engaged in lesbian action.

I even missed two stories. One about another teacher allegedly carrying on a relationship with a student and allegations about the vice principle and sexual harrassment. You can read more about these storeies at the Source.

The latest scandal involves Madison High gym teacher Lisa Guttilla, 37, who was arrested Friday for feeling up a 14-year-old girl, police sources said. The abuse came to light when the teen's mother started asking questions about a hickey on her neck – and she confessed to sexy sessions with Guttilla between Jan. 4 and 9. A complaint filed in Brooklyn Criminal Court says the teacher did "touch, grab, squeeze and kiss the [girl] about the breast and buttock." Guttilla was charged with sexual abuse and child endangerment and sent to the "rubber room" – a reassignment center for teachers under investigation.

And we have to endure Beverly Hills 90210 when there are "real" schools like this out there.

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As if getting insurance quotes isn't painful enough. Now you have to add the most annoying person on the face of the planet into the equation. Can you imagine having to live with a person like this in real life? There are people like this that exist in the real world. Scary.

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